Rumors are FLYING that the United States has already captured Osama Bin Laden. Those rumors have come out of Iran, always a highly reputable source. The U.S. and Pakistan have strongly denied those reports since Iran is one of those bad countries who lies all the time. But we did admit to having intensified the search for Bin Laden which leads one to wonder if Bush has an October Surprise in mind. Bill Maher thinks that the Republicans are going to drag him onto the stage of Madison Square Garden during their convention. I say that if you're going to bring Bin Laden to MSG, do it at WrestleMania in two weeks so he can get his ass whupped by the WWE superstars!

Big mess going on in Haiti. Very messy. What a mess. We should help them out right? Nah, they don't have anything we need. Forget it.

The big winner at the Razzie Awards was... "Gigli"! Worst Picture! Worst Director! Worst Screenplay! Worst Actor for Ben! Worst Actress for J-Lo! Tomorrow's Oscar contenders can only hope to do so well.