It's Devil's Night... the night before Halloween when everyone goes out to cause mayhem. Everyone is out, even Osama Bin Laden, who released one of his Greatest Hits videos yesterday just to remind everyone that he's still alive. What an attention whore. Anyway, there will be plenty of mayhem tonight as I'm going to Ben's party in Astoria. Pictures will be posted thereafter and in the meantime I've posted a pic of me in my Caesar getup! The dagger is the one that Brutus stabbed me in the back with. Stupid Brutus...

Hail Caesar!

It happened. The Red Sox actually won the World Series. Expect hell to freeze over any day now.

Two days ago on this blog, I discussed electoral college maps and statewide polling, particularly on the website Electoral-Vote.com. Today I was contacted by a reporter from "The Baltimore Sun". She is writing an article on people who are obsessed with analyzing the electoral data and maps and she stumbled across my blog while Googling the subject. We had a nice chat and I'm hopeful that some of my comments will appear in her article. If so, I will be sure to link to it!

Today's Park event was the ballfield renaming in Bensonhurst. The official name of the park is Bath Beach Park but mant locals call it "Son of Sam Park." That's because, in the summer of 1977, serial killer David Berkowitz murdered several of his victims who were sitting in parked cars on the street right next to the park. I thought it would have been funny if we could have gotten Berkowitz to appear at the ceremony and help cut the ribbon (surrounded by correction officers of course.) Didn't happen.

Happy 100th Birthday to the NYC Subway System! Without you, I'd probably have to drive or something. Perish the thought.

Very busy week at work. Today was a dedication ceremony for the John LaCorte Monument in the park near the base of the Verrazano Bridge. LaCorte was the founder of the Italian Historical Society of America. The monument that honors him was designed by the same guy who did the Arthur Ashe statue at the National Tennis Center. We had the Italian National Opera perform at the event as well as speeches illuminating the many contributions that Italians have brought to America. No rest for the weary as another event is scheduled for tomorrow. This is a dedication ceremony for a ballfield in Bensonhurst. It is being named for a longtime community activist.

Can the Red Sox actually sweep the World Series? They are up 3-0 and can clinch it with a victory tonight. If so it will be their first win since 1918 - 86 years ago. I wonder though if the Curse of the Bambino means that the Sox will win the first three games and then lose the next four - just as they did to the Yankees. We will see!

One week to go... only seven days to go until the Rumble in the Jungle... the War to Settle the Score.. the Mega Powers Collide. Are there any other corny euphemisms I can use to describe the Bush/Kerry clash? It’s going to be bloody people. And close! I’ve been poring over statewide polls and the electoral map to try to make sense of what’s going to happen and the only thing I can be sure of is that nothing is for sure! So many states are polling statistical ties that it is impossible to gauge who will have the better turnout. Will Bush benefit from longtime voters returning to the polls as they always do? Or will Kerry benefit from the large influx of newly registered voters... who seem to favor him by a 2 to 1 margin and are NOT accounted for in the existing polls!

The following states won by Bush in 2000 are now too close to call : Florida, Ohio, New Hampshire, Missouri, Colorado, Nevada, Arkansas, West Virginia, Virginia

The following states won by Gore in 2000 are also too close to call : Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Iowa, Minnesota, New Mexico.

That’s 9 red states up for grabs and 5 blue states up for grabs. Combine this with my belief that newly registered voters will turn out in droves, and I am boldly predicting, today on this blog, that John Kerry WILL be elected President of the United States. But I’m still nervous as hell.

Today I’m going to write about the funniest show I’ve seen on television in a long time... "The Office." I recently rented the first two seasons on DVD and couldn’t stop laughing. Anyone who works in an office environment can relate. This weekend, I watched the 2-hour "Office Special" that aired on BBC America. Taking place three years after the final season ended, it brings back the characters to show you what’s become of them. David Brent, the boss who tries too hard to be loved by his employees but who really embarrasses and mortifies them, has been fired from the office as the BBC filmed a documentary about him. He is now trying to capitalize on his 15 minutes of fame as he also dabbles in the world of online dating, in an effort to bring a date with him to the office’s Christmas party. His lackey Gareth has been promoted to his job. Tim, who had a crush on Dawn the receptionist, looks forward to Dawn’s visit to the Christmas party, three years after she left with her fiancée to Florida. It’s a great episode and I’ve transcribed one of it’s funniest parts below. It’s set in Gareth’s office as he holds a staff meeting to prepare for the Christmas party.

Gareth : "OK people, the Christmas party. It’s your party so lets brainstorm some ideas."
Woman : "A buffet."
Gareth (writing it down) : "That goes without saying."
2nd Woman : "A disco."
Gareth (writing) : "Good. What else?"
Keith : "Girls."
(stunned silence)
Tim : "There will be girls at the party."
Keith : "Not the ones who work here. Pretty girls."
(Gareth writes it down)
Tim : "I can’t believe he’s writing that down."
Gareth : "It's a democracy. All ideas should be given equal consideration."
Tim : "You want us to hire a bunch of prostitutes or something?"
Keith : "They shouldn’t be that expensive."
Gareth : "OK what else?"
Woman : "Secret Santa."
2nd Woman : "Something for the older employees."
Gareth : That’s a good idea. (writing) Something for the old people.
Tim : Gareth, you can’t just write "something for the old people", you have to come up with something.
Gareth : Don’t matter. Anything else?
Keith : Wet t-shirt contest.
Tim : Oh for the love of. (Gareth is writing) He’s writing that down too! Is that our activity for the old people, Gareth?
Gareth : Oh good point. (writing) No O.P.s at wet t-shirt.
Keith : It shouldn’t be hard. All you need is a bucket and a shirt.

It’s going to be a very red World Series. The Red Sox vs. The Red Birds. Otherwise known as the Cardinals. The team with the best record in the regular season prevailed, as I predicted! Who will win the Boston / St. Louis series? I’m going to say Cardinals in 6.

As you know from reading this blog, on many Tuesday nights, I attend Trivia at the Baggot Inn. It’s a fun, relaxing environment and a great opportunity to down some drinks with friends while answering obscure questions about pop culture and current events. Recently, Amy Sohn, a columnist from "New York Magazine," attended to make it the subject for her next piece. (I did not attend that night because of a date I was on) One would think that it would be a positive, or at least objective, article. Unfortunately, that was hardly the case. The link to the article can be found here. Sohn seemed to enter with the misperception that everyone who attends does so because they’re not cool enough or good looking enough for the usual club/bar scene and that this is the only venue that they can get dates. She tries to bolster proof for this theory by describing the attendees in less than flattering terms. One is called "bald and diminutive." Another "pale and blowsy." "Geeks" and "nerds" are blanket words she uses to describe all the attendees. Then she has the audacity to claim that she is the best looking person in the room. What’s her point? Is she that insecure that she has to put down others in order to make herself feel better? Or is it just her style to misrepresent events to fit her warped, preconceived notions? I wrote her a letter, which is pasted below.
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Ms. Sohn,

I am writing in reference to your article in New York Magazine, inappropriately titled "Geek Love."

As a frequent trivia goer, I am disappointed by the aspersions that you cast. Comments like "Not everyone is charming and gorgeous. That's why there's trivia night", "I may be the hottest girl in the place" and your repeated "nerd" references, are defamatory and, frankly, untrue. Furthermore, they imply that you are looking down on an environment that is unfamiliar to you. I appreciate your attempt to cover the event but it appears that you entered with preconceptions and tailored your article to fit the angle you wanted to push.

I expected better.

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Have a great weekend everyone!

LETS GO RED SOX!!!

As a lifelong Met fan, I have not had much to cheer about ('86 Series and '00 LCS notwithstanding). So when the crosstown rival Yankees get PASTED by their hated nemesis, I am a happy camper! And from the standpoint of an overall baseball fan, it is fantastic to see the Red Sox finally get some comeuppance on the Yankees. That they became the first team in baseball history to come back from an 0-3 series deficit makes it all the more historic. Congrats to Terry Francona for his managing skill, to David Ortiz for winning Games 4 and 5 and getting the LCS MVP award, to Johnny Damon for his two home runs in Game 7 that made it a blowout, to Derek Lowe for pitching 6 great innings, to Pedro Martinez for not letting the "Who's Your Daddy?" chants get to him... that much, to Curt Schilling for winning Game 6 despite an ankle injury, and to the rest of the Sox. Will John Kerry emulate his fellow Bostonians in a couple of weeks? We shall see!

And to George Steinbrenner... HA!

Today is my parents 30th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary!!!

My trivia winning streak came to an end last night, as my team finished in second, one and a half points behind the first place team led by Val and Bob. But I enjoyed playing with teammates Sydney, Sarah and many other non-bloggers too numerous to mention. My best category was the Top 10 list on the Nielsen television ratings, confirming the fact that I watch way too much television. Props to Chris for cleaning out his office so we could all have prizes. I was personally hoping for a red Swingline stapler or post-it notes but I settled for a "Flash" comic book. Props also to Caren for coming up with a Mad Magazine visual round. I used to be such a Mad addict in the 80s and it was fun to relive it.

Game 7 anyone? The Red Sox won again last night, forcing a final game tonight. Will the Red Sox finally break their curse of beating the Yankees? Or is this just a tease that will make the curse sting even more? Last week I predicted Yankees in 7 and I’m sticking by that. But I’d love to see the Red Sox prove me wrong.

Big satellite radio news. Last week Sirius signed Howard Stern. Yesterday, XM struck back by signing an 11-year deal with Major League Baseball. It will provide the radio feeds of every single baseball game to a national audience. This is huge. Unlike other sports, baseball is meant to be listened to on a radio. Now I’m even more excited about my XM!

Last night was fun. The birthday party for the congressman was held at the P.M. Lounge in the meatpacking district. I’m told that it is usually a very exclusive place with long ropelines and bouncers that only let VIPs or good-looking people enter. Not being into the club/lounge scene, I wouldn’t know. Still, it is a very nice place with a comfortable decor. The coat check girls and cocktail waitresses were dressed to the nines and the restroom attendant was a very polite man who was wondering what the party was all about. I explained the concept of a political fundraiser to him. The open bar was a highlight and I definitely took advantage of it... a gin and tonic, a rum and coke, a Corona, and a few sips of Merlot that I borrowed from the congressman’s press secretary. It was great seeing staff members that I used to work with and to meet some of his newer staff members. I also had a nice exchange with the congressman. We were joking around about our ages and I mentioned that I’m currently the age that he was when he was elected to the City Council. His response was, "But the difference between you and me is that you actually have marketable skills."

Upon arriving home, I figured that the Yankee game would be all over. Not by a long shot! I turned on the TV and found them tied 4-4 in the 10th inning. The game would go until the 14th inning where, once again, David Ortiz won it for Boston. No team has ever come back from an 0-3 deficit to win a best-of-seven series in baseball. Can the Red Sox be the first? Can they overcome their curse? They have to first get through tonight as the injured Curt Schilling takes the mound in Game 6. Over in the NL, the Astros have grabbed a 3-2 lead, as Jeff Kent hit the winning home run last night. But the Astros always win in their home ballpark. Can they win on the road though? They’ll need to win at least one out of two in St. Louis to advance to their first World Series.

I have chosen a Halloween costume. I am going as... (drumroll please)... Julius Caesar! I’ve been wanting to wear a toga for the longest time and now I finally have an excuse to do so. And I even have a bloody dagger that he was stabbed with!

Trivia tonight! Caren and Chris are hosting. Lets hope the rain lets up by this evening!

Willie, a 99-year old member of my family, passed away yesterday. He was my aunt’s uncle and had a remarkable ability to carry on an intelligent conversation on most any subject. I was fortunate to have seen him a week before his passing at a surprise party for my uncle. Although his body may have broken down at the age of 99, he maintained all of his mental faculties until the end. Godspeed Willie, you lived a great life!

What a ballgame last night. The Red Sox, on the verge of elimination, survived and pulled out an extra-inning win over the Yankees that ended at 1:30 in the morning. Now the Yankees lead the ALCS 3-1, and the NLCS is tied at two.

Tonight I am attending a birthday party for the congressman who I used to work for. He is turning 40. (A young one! He was already a city councilman at my age) So I’m all dressed up in a suit today for the occasion.

Absurd statements of the day...

"We are not in a health crisis." - Health Secretary Tommy Thompson on the shortage of flu shots.

A Bush defeat "could lead to the spread of terrorism to other parts of the world." – Russian President Vladimir Putin. What an irresponsible statement to make!

And they’re off! With the debates over and done with, Bush and Kerry are barnstorming the country, rallying their bases and hoping to persuade undecided voters. Which leads me to ask, how can anyone at this point still be undecided??? These two are on opposite ends of most issues and the election is a clear referendum on the President’s performance in the past four years. Did he do a good job or a bad job and does he deserve another shot at it? Easy question. Most people whom I speak to feel strongly one way or another, so how can anyone still be undecided? Yet, there they are, sitting in focus groups on CNN, complaining that they haven’t heard enough details about their health care plans. Come on people, make a decision!!!

You want to know what the best new drama on television is this season? "Lost". Wednesday nights, 8:00, ABC. A plane crashes on a remote island, leaving about 20 survivors. The survivors are forced to fend for themselves in the wild, but dangerous creatures are lurking in the woods. And the survivors aren’t all what they seem, as evident in flashbacks about their lives before the plane crash. Definitely check out this unique program!

Che or Caesar? Che or Caesar? What to be on Halloween? A decision is forthcoming soon!

And with that, have a good weekend everyone! I have decided that I will only be updating this blog from Mondays through Fridays. The blog seems to be read less frequently during weekends and hopefully by taking weekends off it will improve the quality of my regular entries. Unless something earth-shattering happens over the weekend and I feel compelled to write.

More thoughts on last night’s debate. Although I believe that Kerry won the debate (and most polls and pundits agree with me), I concede that Bush performed far better than he did at the first two. In the first debate, Bush was slouching and scowling. In the second debate, he was shouting. This time he finally stood up straight, smiled and spoke in a level voice. But Kerry still got him good on several points. For example, there was the exchange when Kerry criticized Bush for ignoring Bin Laden. Bush indignantly replied, "I never said that I wasn’t worried about Bin Laden. That’s another one of my opponent’s ex...a...gger...ations." Hmm, too bad Bush is caught on videotape at a press conference saying "You know, I just don’t spend that much time on him. I truly am not that concerned about him." If Kerry is smart he will play that clip over and over in his TV ads. Kerry also got the best laugh line of the night (even though the audience was technically forbidden from laughing) when he said "Being lectured by this President on fiscal responsibility is a little like Tony Soprano talking to me about law and order in this country." Oh and by the way, did you know that Dick Cheney had a gay daughter? Oh, you didn’t know about his GAY DAUGHTER? Well by now I’m sure you know all about his GAY DAUGHTER! Finally, I wonder what Bush and Kerry really say to each other when they are shaking hands. I have some theories. Do you?

I’m narrowing down my Halloween costume ideas. One is Che Guevara. Another is Julius Caesar. Revolutionary garb or toga? Decisions decisions.

I may call this blog "Phil's Spin Zone" but that's nothing compared to the spin that goes on at the immediate conclusion of a presidential debate. I channel surf when the debates are over, flicking between the analysis on the broadcast and cable news networks, but I always change the channel whenever Bush or Kerry partisans are being interviewed. What's the point - irregardless of what actually happens in the debate, the partisans insist that their candidate ran circles around the other guy. Does anyone actually pay attention to it? I wish the networks would disregard such interviews. But then again, they may as well yank the rest of their programming, whether it be "Crossfire", "Hardball" or "Hannity and Colmes". It's all partisanship, all the time, with no room for honest independent thought. But that's the current state of our divided political arena.

Less than three weeks until the election... will I have any fingernails left by then? I think not!

One week ago, I predicted that the winners of the 1st round in the baseball playoffs would be the Yankees, Red Sox, Cardinals and Astros. Sure enough, the winners were the Yankees, Red Sox, Cardinals and Astros. Now that I’ve established myself as an expert baseball prognosticator, the question is who will win the League Championships. It’s tempting to predict a Red Sox/Astros World Series to mirror the other Massachusetts vs. Texas battle going on this fall. But I don’t think that’s going to happen. As much as I’m rooting for Boston to finally triumph over the Yankees, my head tells me that it won’t happen. They are cursed, after all. Yankees in 7. And in the NL, the Cardinals are too strong a team. They will blunt the momentum that the Astros currently have. Cardinals in 6. Take it to the bank!

Three weeks to go until the Presidential election. So exciting! Two debates down. One to go. I'm optimistic about Kerry’s chances. The polls have tightened and they don’t even account for the millions of new registered voters that will likely vote for Kerry.

I’m still taking Halloween costume suggestions. Only one person commented yesterday. Come on – give me your opinion as to what I should dress as! Pictures will be posted on this blog after the party.

Happy Native-American Genocide Day!!! In honor of the quote/unquote "discovery" of America that opened the floodgate for Europeans to rape, pillage and plunder the Native American tribes, I am off from work! Party!

Who says that sportsmanship is dead? I was watching the end of the Cardinals/Dodgers playoff game. After the Cardinals won the series, the Dodgers all came out onto the field and the opposing teams shook hands. I have NEVER seen that in pro baseball and it's refreshing to see.

I have a big Halloween party coming up in a few weeks and I do not know what kind of costume to wear. So I ask you, my loyal readers, to give me suggestions. Please leave a comment with your opinion as to what I should dress as!

Today I am posting some of Rodney Dangerfield's classic jokes. Enjoy!
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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"

And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!

Good news and bad news. The good news is that my raise has been finalized and will begin appearing on my next paycheck! The bad news is that I was broken up with. I won’t go into too many details here – you can e-mail me if you want to know the story. All I’ll say is that, despite a month of what I thought were very good dates, I was told that it wasn’t the best match. Grr... Ladies, I’m available again!

Oh, I was a little premature in declaring my 3rd place victory in Fantasy Baseball. When the final statistics came out, I actually finished in 4th place – just a mere half point out of third. And I also missed out on the Most Improved prize by a few points as well. This at least won me the "Fantasy Bridesmaid" award. Seems to be a running theme though!

My new leather jacket came yesterday. It’s my first genuine leather jacket and it looks great!

One of my favorite humorists, Rodney Dangerfield, passed away yesterday. I loved him in "Back to School." There were so many good lines but my favorite was when he was sitting in a bathtub surrounded by hot girls in bikinis. He said, "This bath needs bubbles. Hey Bubbles, get in here!"

I thought the Vice Presidential debate last night was a draw. There was a lot of punching, fighting, kicking and gnawing but neither gained a distinct advantage. Cheney did a little better discussing foreign policy and Edwards did a little better discussing domestic policy. But they both seemed to deflate a little during the last half hour. Maybe they got tired. I sure got tired. Either way, it sets up for Friday’s second clash between Bush and Kerry.

I ate so much yesterday. Italian for lunch. Seafood for dinner. Cake in between. Wish I could sleep it off but there is work to do!

As you all know from reading the countdown on this blog for the past two weeks, I am 27 years old today. The birth happened on October 5, 1977 at 3:50 P.M. at NYU Medical Center. My parents ate Italian food the night before and my mom thought that her initial labor pains were just indigestion. But they soon went to the hospital once it became apparent that I was no mere indigestion. It was the Jewish holiday of Simchat Torah and my mom's doctor was in temple, celebrating the beginning of the annual cycle through which Jews read the Torah. He was called out of temple to rush to the hospital. Due to strangulation from the umbilical cord, I had to be delivered via C-Section. The doctors had to work on me for a few minutes to unstrangle me and ensure that I was breathing correctly. It was a bit of an ordeal but I got through it OK! My name was determined by my parents in advance. I was named after my grandfather, Phil Newman, who passed away three years before my birth. Hence my dramatic entry into the world. What will my 28th year have in store? Stay tuned.

The baseball season is over and the playoffs begin tomorrow. Back in February, I posted predictions on this blog as to how the standings would turn out. Of the eight teams that made the playoffs, I correctly predicted four of them : Yankees as AL East champs, Red Sox as AL Wild Cards, Dodgers as NL West champs and Astros as NL Wild Cards. The four teams that I picked that failed to make the playoffs were the Royals (last place), the Mariners (last place), the Phillies (disappointing second place – fired their manager) and the Cubs (disappointing third place – total collapse in the final week of the season). The playoff matches are Yankees vs. Twins, Red Sox vs. Angels, Cardinals vs. Dodgers and Braves vs. Astros. I’ll now predict that the winners of these divisional series will be the Yankees, Red Sox, Cardinals and Astros.

The fantasy baseball season is also over and my team "Thugz Inc." has finished in third place out of 12. This should also net me the prize for Most Improved from Last Year! Congrats to Jay Bartow – his team, the appropriately named "Dynasty" won for the third year in a row. Gotta figure out a way to break that dynasty for next year...

Good news! John Kerry’s amazing performance in Thursday’s debate is pulling him even in most of the polls. Let’s hope that this starts an irreversible trend until November 2! There’s still two debates and one vice presidential debate to go though. Tomorrow it’s Edwards vs. Cheney. The rumble in the jungle. Or Cleveland.

One of the presents I got for my birthday was the Star Wars DVD set. Last night I was watching some of the special features and it includes screen tests for Luke and Han. Testing for Han was Kurt Russell and testing for Luke was that guy with the big, blonde, curly hair from "The Great American Hero." How ‘70s. It was also amusing to hear David Prowse doing the voice of Darth Vader. The sound of a wimpy Scottish voice coming out of the imposing Darth Vader costume is great. Thank god they found James Earl Jones.

1 day until my birthday – which means it’s Birthday Eve!

Thanks to those who came out last night for the party. Although it was a relatively small crowd, I'm very thankful to each person who was there. I'd post pictures except I was too busy talking and drinking to take any.

And although the party may be over, I'd like to add... 2 days until my actual birthday!!!

Good job, John Kerry! I won't be killing him... yet. Maybe I'm partisan but I really think that Kerry was the clear cut winner of last night's debate. He remained on the offense while Bush was defensive. Not only did Kerry speak clearer with a better factual grasp of the issues, he looked more comfortable and at ease. Most telling was the split screen shots of the candidates while they weren't speaking. Kerry (being taller) filled up the screen and constantly jotted notes and nodded his head. Bush looked dwarfed by the podium and made lots of odd facial expressions. It seemed as if Bush didn't want to be there. Flicking the channels, most pundits and early polls seem to be giving a clear edge to Kerry. Even the FOX News roundtable of pundits was giving Kerry the edge. Now we just have to see if it improves his standing as the campaign progresses in its final month. At the very least, it's a good start as he heads into the next two debates : a town hall and a domestic policy debate.

Oh yeah... 4 days until my birthday... and tomorrow night is the party! Saturday night - Carriage House - E 59 St bet 2 & 3 Ave - 8 pm - be there!